That’s me off to hell in a hand cart

I never expected to be saying this but now is the right time to vote Conservative.  Now that is provocative!!

Most of my readers know that I have always been a believer in SELF DETERMINATION –  I don’t want to hear all this ‘independence’ bullshit – even the word has DEPEND in it – a huge clue!  Scotland must determine it’s own future, control it own assets and develop it own capability.

Once we led the world in our capabilities and the world loved us for it.  Now look at us.  Riddled with stupid people whose allegiance is to a secret or not so secret Unionist doctrine – as if that doctrine gave a monkey about them?  Scotland needs to be from from the UK, free from the EU but most of all, free from the US.  If you don’t believe me, switch on your TV and watch the UK present to you the US??

When 17 million British voted to leave the EU that was a great start.  Unfortunately, there was a huge mistake made – not by the people – by the establishment.  After their success in ‘managing’ Indyref1 they were so complacent about the EU ref that they didn’t even bother to plan for the outcome of an OUT vote.  There was only 2 possible outcomes – and they couldn’t be bothered to plan for one of them.  Now that is heavyweight complacency – or heavyweight stupidity – you chose.

Cameron grasped that Churchillian nettle and headed off to the EU to cut a deal.  He must have felt like the monarchy when he returned – because he was royally shafted.  Dave Boy became Dave Boy Gone.  Up pops Theresa May.  As a Home Secretary I thought she would have been the ultimate ‘stay at home mum’ and done us all a big favour – but no, up she pops as the anointed Tory leader.  Pass me that hand cart – I’m off to hell!

I wasn’t long before reality struck Theresa May right between the eyes and she realised she was in deep, deep, deep trouble.  She hadn’t a clue what she was doing and she was about to ruin the entire kingdom for all eternity due to her incompetence as a negotiator and ineptitude as a diplomat.

‘So, what the hell do we do now?’ she must have said to her cabinet.  The answer was obvious.  We must get out of here, but super quick.  The only way to do that is to call a General election.  The only problem – and it is a huge one, is she is likely to win with a massive majority.  Her pals are all doing such a great hatchet job on her rival – Jeremy.

‘So, what the hell do we do now?’ she must have said to her cabinet – again.  It’s obvious, you need to commit political suicide.  Basically, piss off your entire support and other large groups.  If we do enough we will lose the election.  Labour will get in or come close and they will do a deal with the SNP on a progressive basis.  We sit back, manufacture the bullets and fire them off.  When they make a mess of our big mess we blame both parties and regain the helm at the next General Election.  Oh, and the bonus is we will also have stuck to the SNP and Scotland and retain their assets and our future as far as the eye can see.  Happy days!.

OK, how can we really piss off our support without them realising what we have done.  That’s easy.  First of all we hammer the poor, the sick, the homeless and those on benefits.  After all, we are the Tories! so nobody will suspect.  Then the master stroke.  We go after our powerbase, the pensioners and the privileged.  We take away their winter fuel ‘sweety money’.  No big deal.  But then we take away their assets down the the last £100k.  That leaves them with their pocket money and their little nippers get diddly squit.  They will really piss them off.  Of course we were forced to do that by the devious insider dealings of Jeremy Corbyn who after all is funded by Kim Jung what’s his bloody name – they just believe us anyway – our spinners will see to that.

Shazam! the die is cast.

If this sounds like some kind of Grimm fairy tale – well, it’s one you hear on the news and in the papers or should I say, our news and our papers!

SO!  SO! …  in a rather bizarre twist of fate – the really clever ‘back game’ is to vote Tory, keep them in place and watch them slip on their own doo doo.  After that they will be gone for good.  Jeremy gets England, Scotland get Scotland and the Union, well they can get lost!  I know this is a leap of faith but sometimes that is what it takes?

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